Big Bang Theory: The Penny Principle
by Thor2000
Summary: My first Big Bang Theory story and hopefully not the only one; this delves into Penny's family, and Howard obsessed with an American urban myth. Has references to my Eight Simple Rules: Bridget and Suite Life: Immortal stories.
1. Chapter 1

New York City was a city of contrasts. It was home to a great diversity of peoples and races from across the world of every ethnic or cultural type. Jewish business held business here. Chinese shop owners ran markets. Italian restaurateurs served their favorite dishes, and African-American rap stars of American parents performed on nearly every street corner, trying hard to "keep it real" by not succumbing to the stereotypes of becoming street-level terrorists shooting up neighborhoods and playing suicide with addictive dangerous substances. For this week in September, the cultural diversity was joined by people from other planets. One of the largest structures in NYC for gathering aficionados, the Manhattan Civic Center was playing host to a diversity of extra-terrestrial beings that should not have ever met. Darth Vader came dating Deanna Troi from Star Trek, stormtroopers came with female Ferengi, a horde of Klingons came with human equivalent dates, a female Boba Fett attracted attention, a few _Star Gate_ adventurers joined the melee interspersed with _Babylon Five_ pilots, Cylons and even a five-foot-tall Yoda. Among them were comic book characters in both poor costumes and nearly accurate costumes. Sci-Fest was the five-day version of Halloween without the horror stars, the candy or the wandering from house to house. Science fiction fans got to meet their favorite science fiction stars. Others came to buy and sell old classic toys or collectibles, often spending far more than they expected. Others saw valuable movie props, others waited for old stars to make appearances to talk to fans. Lines of three hundred people in a row often marked autograph booths. For this diversity of practically a million people, there was only four bedrooms on the ground floor and four more upstairs with lines longer than the autographs booths. Most people tried to hold their bladders because their costumes were so hard to get on or off. Others were far smarter, refusing to eat, drink or put anything into their bodies until they left. A native of India, Rajesh Koothrappalli was actually a professor at Cal Tech in Pasadena, attired as the star pilot Han Solo maneuvered around the female Fett without saying a word although he noticed her chest pushing out the front of her costume. He looked around for his friends in the main avenue through the mini-city of stalls, stands and booths. A hairy Wookiee walked by with a Cylon rolling a Star Gate. A blonde Princess Leia, her large chest forcing her harem outfit, giggled past him carrying a Star Trek prop. A guy sat in a bench tried fixing his Spider-Man costume coming apart at the seams.

"Howard, what kept you?" Raj looked up to his buddy Howard Wolowitz in a matching Han Solo costume. "We all promised to meet here at seven to return to the hotel." Wolowitz was also a co-worker at Cal Tech with him, having traveled to New York for the science fiction festival. "It's almost eight…" He paused. "Look, I got Lou Ferrigno's autograph!"

"I can beat that…" Howard lifted his stack of comic books under his arm. "Look, Yvonne Craig!!!"

"You got Bat-Girl's autograph!!!" Raj was jealous. He had tried to get the _Batman_ star's autograph, but she had to leave early. "I don't believe it… what did she write…" He read the signature. "Howard… keep it in your pants." He paused. "You hit on Batgirl?"

"I did…" Howard smirked proudly. "Now, I can say I've been shot down by Lynda Carter, Lara Parker, Gates McFadden, Carrie Fisher and Yvonne Craig!"

"You're incredible."

"Guys…" Another of their party joined them dressed as an innocent farm boy from Tatooine who became a Jedi Knight, but this Luke Skywalker had curly brown hair and black-framed glasses. "Have you guys seen Sheldon? I lost him near the _Dungeons And Dragons_ experience."

"Oh, what a shame…" Raj was not fond of Sheldon. "Let's go…"

"We can't leave him behind." His name was Leonard Hofstadter, an experimental physicist also from Cal Tech. "Those _Star Gate_ guys have order to vaporize him on sight. They're now out right now there forming coalitions with the guys from _Babylon Five_ and _Battlestar Galactica_. They'll kill him."

"What a shame…" Howard looked up from thumbing through his book. "Let's go…"

"Guys…"

"Too late." Raj stopped short of leaving and stopped near the display of _Lost In Space_ props. They looked back to Sheldon struggling to catch up with them. His Leonard Nimoy wig was askew, one sleeve had been ripped off his blue Starfleet sweater and his tricorder was hanging by one end of its strap. He had been running off at the mouth again. Leonard looked at his roommate and just sighed aggravatedly embarrassed for his roommate.

"What did you do?" Leonard asked the question no one wanted an answer for.

"Nothing…" Sheldon reacted meekly with that light slightly arrogant high voice of his. "I just started a spirited debate on how the Prime Directive was vastly superior to the dogmas of the _Star Gate_ and _Babylon_ _Five_ philosophies and the next thing I knew I was tossed to these Wookiees and Klingons batting me around like a train car between King Kong and Godzilla."

Leonard, Raj and Howard stared at him tiredly annoyed in unison and wondered why they allowed themselves to be connected to him.

"Sheldon…" Leonard took a deep breath and released it. "What is this knack you have for constantly ticking off complete strangers?"

Sheldon looked at Leonard with a vacuous light, started to speak, paused looked around and finally spoke.

"I don't understand the question."

"Let's get out of here…" Leonard turned to lead this party back to their hotel to change and head back home to Pasadena. Raj had his collection of souvenirs, Howard his comic books and autographs and Leonard still had a bit of his dignity intact. Sheldon looked at the stormtroopers glaring at him, the Klingons cursing him in their native language and the aliens from "V" sharing rumors about him between them and hastened his step. Howard was studying his book as they took the stairs up to the lobby and turned left past their fellow sci-fi and graphic novel stars for the exit to the outside of the center.

"Howard…" Raj pulled Howard out of the way of running into Robby The Robot. "What is that book you're reading? A guide to the hottest science fiction babes in the universe?"

"I wish…" Howard came last out the doors on to the chilly New York autumn weather. "Actually, this book is really fascinating! Did you know there are actually people in the real world who are actually pulling off real superhero-level feats and adventures but yet the police and FBI are trying to cover it all up?"

"There is not!" Leonard scoffed and took the book to read the chapter. "_Superheroes In Reality_… no one believes that stuff!"

"Oh, yeah…" Howard took his book back. "Three Batman sightings in Baltimore, one Spiderman in London and two Superman sightings in Toronto and Montreal…" He started believing in the incredible sightings claimed by people…

"What? He's not satisfied with Metropolis anymore?" Raj sarcastically responded.

"Well, why don't we all just throw ourselves into a gamma bomb explosion and start wearing green power rings!" Sheldon tried to hail a cab but it just raced right by him. "Howard, you just can't take the veracity of that book seriously. The research is shoddy, the accounts are described by people who live in trailer parks and it lacks any sort of scientific theory, scrutiny or logical analysis. It's like that picture of Chupacabra doing the hula in Mexico City!"

"Really?" Howard begged to differ. "It has over seventy five photos of Supergirl from digital cameras across the country…" He revealed one from Boston. "In this one, she looks like Ashley Tisdale!!!"

"Supergirl??" Raj reacted shocked. "What? She's like a second to third string DC Comics character. How could she possibly be real?"

"Oh my god…" Another cabbie ignored Leonard looking at the photo. "She does look like Ashley Tisdale!!!" He saw the photo and then noticed another. "But in this one she looks like Penny!!!"

They all took a look at the book.

"Okay, how much do we really know about that girl?!!!" Sheldon tried to hail a cab that raced right past them, but in its place, another one slowed and pulled to the curb next to them. Leonard pulled the door open to let Raj and Howard in the cab first.

"Leonard," Howard was musing on this discovery. "Next time that cheese cake goddess gives you a hug, you better be wearing Kryptonite underwear!" He got in the back of the cab with Raj.

"Very funny…" Leonard got in ahead of Sheldon and sat behind the driver to put down his artifacts from Sci-Fest. The cab driver was slumping forward hiding his face.

"Dolphin Hotel, please…" Leonard announced as Sheldon got in and pulled the door shut. "Third and Lexington…"

"Third and Lexington…" The cabbie mumbled in a vague indiscernible accent. "Okay, but first…" He flicked a switch in the center console and the roof of the cab lit up with flickering and pulsating lights similar to the dance floor of a disco. Sheldon jumping with a light squeak, Howard reacted as if he was being arrested and Raj looked around confused.

"Hello and welcome to Cash Cab!!!" The driver spoke in his real voice. "I'm your host, and you're in a game show played right here in my taxi where you win money by answering general knowledge questions. You guys want to play?"

"Is this legal?" Raj asked. None of the guys had ever heard of this game.

"Of course it's legal, you want to play?"

The guys looked confused at each other. Was this for real?

"Third and Lexington… please…" Sheldon leaned forward and answered uninterested.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Leonard and Sheldon lived in a modernized apartment house in Pasadena with an elevator that had stopped working in 1976. Their neighbors consisted of Miss Lynley, a widow on the first floor with seven cats, and Mr. Shapiro, a greeting card writer who never came out of his place except on Sundays to go to church and come back. There was also Miss Estrada raising her two grandkids on the second floor, and Mr. Ramirez, a former wrestler in the last days of an ugly ten-year divorce from his wife. The only worthy neighbor was Penny Parker in the apartment across from the guys. She was a struggling actress from Nebraska, and Leonard was in love with her and hoping for more. The guys came home bearing the brunt of torture from their flight from New York. Screaming kids, crowded conditions, a fat guy constantly using the bathroom every ten minutes and along the way, Howard monitoring the flight for flying persons in their airspace.

"My god…" He brought up the rear of their journey to Leonard and Sheldon's third floor Pasadena apartment. "Thank god for small favors… Remind me to never fly coach again."

"I know we left the airport an hour ago, but…" Raj continued the griping. "But I still hear screaming kids in my head." They neared the apartment.

"I had a nice flight…" Sheldon responded delicately arrogant. "I listened to music, had cookies and a very nice nap."

"You got bumped to First Class because the flight was overbooked!" Leonard snapped. "My god! You know, the next time a flight attendant says she has room for someone up front, you could have invited us up front."

"Why would I do that?" Sheldon pulled his key out to unlock his apartment door. Leonard just rolled his eyes out of disbelief and noticed a guy sitting and waiting at the landing outside Penny's apartment. He looked up to the guys to reveal large blue eyes, dark brown hair with twinges of white and gray hair. He looked to be in good shape, like a sports star or something. He wore a thin Khaki jacket with blue jeans and a white shirt.

"I wonder who he is?" Leonard spoke as he entered his home and dropped his duffel bag.

"Maybe Penny's goy a new beau?" Raj theorized.

"A guy that old…" Howard was skeptical. "Maybe Penny's turning tricks and he's her pimp."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Leonard resisted that crazy idea as he looked back. "Maybe she owes him money…" He turned round and re-entered the hall, crossing the first set of stairs to the steps to the fourth floor where the guy sat. Leonard looked at the guy curiously. "Excuse me, but can I help you…"

"Yeah…" The guy looked up. "Do you guys know the girl who lives here?"

"Well…" Leonard adjusted his glasses and recalled bad experiences with the people from Penny's past. "Kind of… Is she in trouble?"

"No, no…" The guy lifted his feet up to almost six feet in height. "I was just trying to see her. Is it okay if I use your phone? My phone is…" He waved a dead phone.

"Yeah, sure…." Leonard invited the gentleman and showed the way back to his place. "Uh, these are my friends, Raj, Howard and Sheldon…"

The guys all suspiciously acknowledged their guest in different ways. Sheldon stood stiffly in back and observed.

"Hey guys, I'm James…"

"James, is it…" Howard mugged cockily. "So, what do you do?"

"I'm a cop." The guy found the phone to leave a message with Penny.

"Oh god…" Howard tugged Leonard closer. "Dude, you just surrendered your girlfriend to the police!!!"

"No, I did not."

"Penny's not going to do it with you if you send her to prison." Raj pointed out behind their guest's back.

"On the contrary…" Howard pulled Leonard away. "He's going to get conjugal sex. That's like the best in the world!"

"Penny's not in trouble." Leonard scoffed.

"On the contrary…" Sheldon was mixing his regular cup of chocolate milk to relax and sip upon getting home from a big trip. Claiming it from the microwave, he also claimed his spot on the sofa and nested into it. "You don't know anything about this guy. You don't know if this guy is someone she wants to meet or try to avoid. She may not want to see him. He could be from a part of her life she wants to avoid." He sipped his chocolate milk. "Your relationship with Penny could be toast."

"You don't know that…"

"Guys…" Their guest turned round from the phone near the door. "Thanks for the phone, but her voice mail is full. I'll just leave this message on her door and get going. Thanks away…" He revealed a note in his left palm but hesitated to notice the guys' comic book purchases from New York City. "Good investment. You know, I used to collect comic books myself. All the way back to Ghost Rider #1..."

The guys suddenly snapped to attention. Did this guy say he comics back to the Late Sixties?

"Wait!!!" Howard rushed out and grabbed the guy from leaving the note on Penny's door, dragging their guest back into the guy's apartment and trapping him inside. "Look, man. I'll give you one thousand dollars for one Ghost Rider #1!"

"Forget that!!!" Raj countered. "Eleven hundred and my Mark Hamill-autographed Star Wars paperback novel!" The guys became desperate.

"Fifteen hundred and my autographed photo of Nicolas Cage!!!" Howard countered.

"Guys, what are you doing?" Leonard retaliated.

"Bidding!!!" Howard and Raj screamed.

"I will go as high as $2000 for Amazing Spiderman #100…" Sheldon rose to the occasion. "Mint copy only, vacuum-packed, flat rate…"

"What's your earliest Daredevils?" Leonard suddenly saw the light.

"Daredevil…" Howard smirked with a bit of a scoffing noise. "Rookies… I've got stocks and bonds from Jewish relatives. Just name your price. I'll pay anything for your earliest copies of Fantastic Four…"

The guys started bidding and offering anything they had for anything James had left over from his youth. They offered hard cash, comics, valuable merchandise, Sheldon offered his hot sister as a bride… Raj asked if James had any of the Seventies Star Wars action figures or sets. They began offering their recent purchases from New York City. Their bids and offers started getting louder and louder as they tried to outbid each other.

"Guys… guys!!!" James regretted revealing her was a grown-up comics geek. "What makes you think I'm willing to give up years of collecting… Oh, hell's bells, my wife wants her exercise room back anyway…" He recanted. "Look, just write down your bids and requests and I'll honor the best ones…" The guys split in feverish hurries to get scraps of paper to write out their wish lists. Raj started fighting with a finicky ballpoint pen. There was a sound from the hall, a thump from the wall on the landing and Penny announced her arrival by walking into the guy's apartment.

"Hey guys, about this note on my door…." Penny strolled in wearing shorts and a striped shirt. "Daddy!!!

"Pookie-butt!!!"

"Pookie-butt?" Howard and Raj started snickering.

"Apparently I was wrong…" Sheldon re-examined his hypothesis. "Maybe he could be her father. How could I have missed that?"

"Daddy!!!" Penny was hugging her father. "Please, don't call me that in front of my friends. Um, what are you doing here?"

"Well, princess…" James Michael Parker lovingly shaped his baby girl's face with his hands and big grinning smile. "Your mother's in one of her moods so I decided to give her a while to cool off…" He paused tiredly. "About two weeks worth… and since I've got friends out here in the LAPD, I thought I'd come visit you."

"Oh, wow…" She responded lackluster, feeling him already stifling her independency. She looked to the guys scribbling lists and price amounts and wondered what had conspired.

"Penny…" Leonard came strolling up. "Uh, forgive my confusion, but… didn't you say your dad's name was Bob?" He asked a bit perplexed. Her father also stood at attention a bit offended and wanting an explanation.

"Oh that…" Penny looked to her father standing over her with those big arms folded over his chest. "Well, Leonard, sweetie, when I said that, you guys were still a bit… well, creepy to me and I didn't want you knowing a lot of stuff about me."

"Right…" Howard got a message whispered to him from Raj on Penny's presence. "Penny, as Raj points out… didn't you tell us your father was a baseball coach?" James was still a bit offended.

"He is…." Penny was forced to tell the truth. "Little league… and during the summer…"

"I thought you also said your mother was dead." Sheldon pointed out the worst one.

"Penny!!!" James was appalled.

"I was fighting with her at the time!!!" She took her dad's arm. "She deserved it!!!" She dragged her father back to her place to keep from embarrassing her. Howard meanwhile thought of his book, _Superheroes In Reality_, and tagged along a few feet.

"Sir, small question…" Howard leaned over a bit covertly at the door. "Did you by any chance find Penny as a baby sent to this planet from a dying civilization in another galaxy?"

"Do me a favor?" James looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Stay away from my daughter."

"Yes, sir…"

"Daddy, please…" Penny found her father's night bag on the steps outside her apartment and picked it up for him. Her father was in Pasadena less than a day and was already embarrassing her royally. Covering her face with her hand, she sighed, let her father into her apartment and looked up to Leonard looking at her.

"Penny, don't worry about it…" He tried to lend his support. "Look, we all have parents who embarrass us."

"Do you ever lie about your parents?"

"No…" Leonard claimed with a slight shake of his head.

"Leonard, my dad's a police officer…" Penny looked for relief. "Do you know how hard it is to date when your father has guns in the house?"

"Well…" Leonard thought about it. "Not really, but Sheldon's from Texas…" He paused. "He might know…"

"God, how am I going to get by with him hovering over me…" Penny sighed with her hand to the head, started to turn into her home then paused and looked back. "Oh, I almost forgot…" She stopped and turned to Leonard. "So, how much did you guys win on Cash Cab?"

"None…" Leonard lightly remised.

"Oh, sweetie…" Penny tried to be tactful. "I'm so sorry. You lost it all on the last question, huh?"

"No…" Leonard just extremely embarrassed. "We missed all three of the first three questions!"

"What?" Penny was incredulous. "How it that possible? I was your mobile shout-out on the Gilligan's Island question! I know that answer was right!"

"I know, but Sheldon wouldn't use it!" Leonard had never been so humiliated. "He kept insisting that it was no such island and kept insisting on a question from astronomical physics. That guy was so angry that he physically pulled Sheldon out of the cab!"

"Leonard, honey…" Penny came up fondly. She had a soft spot in her heart when it came to him. "I honestly don't know why you stay around him."

"Neither do I!"


	3. Chapter 3

3

"Okay, here's what I got…" Howard had been studying the book he had about people posing as superheroes and pulling off incredible acts. He had deduced several of them to be mock daredevils doing grandstanding feats while in costume and others just trying to get attention, but that still left over two hundred alleged Supergirl sightings scattered across the United States but focused on Las Vegas, Boston and Detroit. After a night of obsessed research, he had his findings to show to Raj, Leonard and Sheldon. He had a big speech and display to go with it.

"According to my research…" He continued as the guys humored his delusion. "The sightings seem to range on a girl or number of girls resembling either Ashley Tisdale, Britney Spears or our local cheesecake goddess from across the hall." He believed he had the answer to a new urban legend. "Now, if you accept the proposition that she can change her looks and appearance to disguise herself, I believe she can only be one person…" He flipped up the first page of his dissertation to a picture of Penny at her door.

"Howard…" Leonard was looked at him as if he was nuts. "All these years of your mother throwing things at you, how many of them hit you in the head?"

"Scoff if you will…" Howard continued. "But this could be the biggest mystery since crop circles. Let's look at the evidence…" He produced a chart of dates and events. "April 4, 2008… Penny had a dentist appointment… the same day a large meth lab in San Francisco was broken up by a attractive blonde in a Supergirl costume. Afterward, Penny arrives home claiming she didn't have any cavities. Was she really at the dentist? I think not."

"Wow, no cavities, huh…" Sheldon mused with a weird little grin and sat in his spot.

"June 12, 2009…" Howard continued. "An Amber Alert goes out near Baker, Nevada for little Hallie Dawn Fitzpatrick, who is found after being rescued by a flying girl in a red cape. Penny shares with us blueberries from the store. Blueberries from near the area little Hallie was nearly abducted, and no stores in our area sell fresh blueberries."

"Farmers on the Interstate are always selling blueberries…" Raj pointed out.

"I don't even like blueberries…" Sheldon added.

"Guys, look at the evidence!" Howard was adamant about his findings. "Look at all these dates… January 7 to the 14… a rash of sightings in Boston while Penny was away!"

"She was at her cousin's wedding!" Leonard shook his head in disbelief.

"Was she?" Howard asked. "Was she really?" He grinned bobbing his head. "Guys, the evidence… our little cheesecake goddess is actually a superhuman angel of extraordinary power. I bet that place she works at is just her cover!"

"We see her working there all the time!" Raj pointed out.

"Small challenge to someone who can move at the speed of light." Howard had pretty much just convinced himself. "I man… if I can just get hooked into the NASA satellite, I just might be able to track her flight patterns." He secretly plotted, took a deep breath of pride on his research and placed his hand on Leonard's shoulder. "You lucky, lucky dog… you've been dating the greatest woman this planet has ever known…" He whipped up the pad on his display to another photo of Penny photo-shopped into a Supergirl costume with the red cape and miniskirt and big red "S" on a background of yellow stenciled on a blue leotard. He had a big smile just looking at it.

"You know what I think…" Leonard had his theory. "I think you whipped up this cockamamie display in order to create some sort of disgusting fantasy about my girlfriend!" He responded both angry and upset. "Another thing, her chest is not that big!"

"I know, I got a little carried away with the photo-shopping…" Howard confessed.

"Another problem, Howard…" Raj had Howard's book and was leafing through it. "How about all these other dates when we know Penny was with us?"

"They were the other girls…"

"What other girls?"

"Other girls!!!"

"Guys, I was thinking…" Penny walked in and saw the photo-shopped picture of herself in the Supergirl-costume with the double-D chest. Her lips parted out of shock, her mind started working and she looked at Howard with her eyes narrowing out of confused, stunned shock and shame. She wanted to start screaming, but she couldn't. Howard just silently pulled his cover down over the display and tried to act nonchalant. Leonard was embarrassed for her. Sheldon looked once and again and turned back to the desk where he was working on his string theory.

"I don't even want to know…" She finally answered with her voice a bit high and aggravatedly annoyed. "Leonard…" She approached her current boyfriend. "I thought I'd make dinner for you and daddy to get to know each other. Can you come?"

"Well, sure I can…"

"No, he can't." Sheldon interrupted and stood up. "Tonight is Sloppy Joe night. We always have Sloppy Joes together at the Happy Bucket."

"Then do it without Leonard…" Penny hated these fights over Leonard with Sheldon, but in some ways she liked the duel of the brains with the egotistical maniac. "He's going to have dinner with me and my father." Behind her, Howard was plotting and getting close.

"He can't…" Sheldon resisted. "What would we do with the extra hush puppies?"

"Bring them home to him." Penny insisted. Behind her, Howard wanted to test his theory that her hair could not be cut by scissors. He pulled out some clippers as Raj watched.

"Are you kidding?" Sheldon was annoyingly logical. "Happy Bucket hush puppies can only be eaten in the restaurant. They have to be experienced in the restaurant."

"I'll microwave them!!" Leonard wanted out of this conversation.

"What are you doing?" Penny suddenly felt Howard touching her hair.

"Nothing…." Howard lowered his hands with the scissors as Leonard pushed him away, paused and sighed briefly as Penny turned to leave.

"Microwave them?" Sheldon picked up where Penny left off. "You just can't…"

"I'll eat them anyway!" Leonard got him to stop talking and turned to Penny. "So… Where is your dad?"

"Working on my car…" Penny wandered back in. "Hey, did you know that the oil has be changed every three thousand miles?"

"So solves the mystery of the little red engine light." Sheldon echoed.

"Leonard… you're coming to dinner, right?" Penny wanted proof he was coming.

"Sure, I'll be there…" He looked briefly to Howard and Raj and their crazy Supergirl-theory presentation. "What will you be cooking?"

"Cooking?" Penny paused caught on the spot. "Oh, uh… I was actually just going to bring and reheat some stuff from the restaurant… I got some meat, vegetables…"

"Thank goodness, cause Leonard's allergic to lousy cooking…" Sheldon spoke up as Penny started to attack but Leonard got in the way and stopped her. Raj and Howard quickly pulled out their picture phones to catch it, but nothing happened. The door to the apartment parted and Mr. Parker stood there oily and grimy in his white undershirt and blue jeans. He was placing his cell phone back into his back pocket.

"Penny, princess…" He pulled a rag out next to clean his hands. "I got your car running smoothly again, but you really got to take better care of it. You have to check the water, oil and transmission fluid regularly."

"Okay," She looked happy again. "I can get Leonard to that for me."

"There's water in a car engine?" Leonard asked Raj. The two of them and Howard were just as surprised.

"Another thing, princess…" James started entering…

"Excuse me… excuse me…" Sheldon started laying paper for him to stand on to keep the floor clean.

"I've been talking to your mother, honey…" James looked at him then back to his daughter. "And we were talking… If how you treated that car is any indication, you might not be ready to be living on your own. I think you'd be better off coming back home with me."

A quell of stunned silence lit up over the room.

"But… but…" Penny was stunned. "But what about my acting career?"

"You've been here how many years. How close are you?"

"Stay on the paper, please…" Sheldon showed James where to stand.

"Penny…" James moved to where Sheldon wanted him. Leonard was shocked speechless. Howard and Raj watched unsure how to think. "Let's talk about this over in…"

"I have not missed a single audition." Penny poured her heart out to him. "Daddy, I'm so close… I know it… Please…"

"Penny…" James reached to her and gently escorted her from Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. "Let's discuss this in your apartment."

"Why?" The daughter reacted with a bit of attitude. "So you can talk me into coming home?"

"Penny…" James looked away briefly and back to her. "Look, you're constantly struggling, you're constantly writing home for extra money… It would just be more cheaper in the long run if you just moved back home."

"Sir…" Leonard spoke up. "If I may…'

"Not now, Leonard." James held his hand up to Leonard to stop him. Penny lightly gasped, looked to him and back to her father, walking out of the apartment just a bit embarrassed and beside herself. She pulled her long blonde hair back to look back at Leonard and then fell right back under her father's guidance again to be lead back into to her home as if she were a little girl. Raj waited a second to look out.

"Wow…" He spoke. "Her father sounds serious. I can't believe she could be leaving us."

"I know…" Leonard was stunned.

"I don't know how to qualify this in the pool." Howard continued. "I bet even odds you'd be the one to screw up the relationship." He pulled out a pad from his pocket where he'd kept track of the bets on Leonard's relationship with Penny. "No one bet her father would take her away."

"Oh my god!!!" Leonard reacted upset. "You guys bet on my relationship with Penny?"

"Not the relationship…" Raj pointed out. "The ending… I bet she'd break it off with you."

"Yes, well..." Sheldon stood holding out his hand. "I bet she would leave him. However the consequences, she is still leaving him."

"No, your bet implies on her own will." Howard stuck to the letter of the bet. "We never figured her father would break them up!"

"We're not breaking up!!!" Leonard declared emphatically. "He could change his mind. I just have to talk to him…"

"Leonard, take this from a guy who knows." Howard came round and place his arm around Leonard like a friend. "Parents never appreciate the guys their daughters date." He looked back to his body of research on his display. "At least I have a picture to remember her…" He mumbled.

Quickly returning, Penny grabbed up Howard's slate of research with the photo-shopped picture of herself and marched out with it under her arm.

"Super sonic hearing…" Howard replied. "If that's not proof, I don't know what is…"


	4. Chapter 4

4

Penny had tried cooking then phoned for take-out. She ordered meatloaf and three vegetables from a take-out place called Worsham's, but when it arrived, her father paid for it in her place. Leonard arrived wearing a shirt and tie with a jacket and saw what looked to be a tense scene. He saw a few boxes with Penny's stuff already starting to get packed. He looked at her trying to think of something to say and realized she had lost the battle. The conversation was light. Leonard started with describing his work at Cal Tech to impress Penny's father, but he was more interested in the ball game on TV. Penny watched the game too as she set up the dinner. Through the dinner itself, Leonard tried to dissuade James from taking Penny back home, but he was more interested in telling stories from home ranging from her older sister, Carol, being pregnant again and her older brother nearly violating his parole. Father had dominated the conversation on purpose to stay away from "that subject at hand."

"Penny…" James looked up. "Any more mashed potatoes?"

"On the stove…" She looked up forlornly.

"I got it." James rose to get it himself. At the table, his daughter and Leonard looked to each other defeatedly.

"My last dinner here…" Penny stirred her meal depressed. "Talk to him, I don't want to go…" She whispered under breath to Leonard.

"I've been trying!"

"Try harder!" Penny responded curtly. "Uh, daddy, will you excuse me… I got something on my top."

"Sure, pookie-butt…"

"Pookie-butt…" Leonard chuckled with a snickering laugh, but Penny swatted up the head as she moved past him for her bedroom to change her blouse. Watching Penny cross her living room to head down the hall to her bedroom, Leonard looked from her to Mr. Parker returning to the table with more mashed potatoes, dipping his biscuits in it and mixing it with the remnants of meatloaf.

"Sir,… Can we talk?" Leonard looked up through his glasses a bit forlornly.

"If this is about Penny, son, there's not much left to talk about." James stood looking down on Leonard as if he was his father as well.

"Please, a few minutes…" Leonard asked. The older man exhaled deeply, slightly annoyed and gestured to the privacy of the hall outside Penny's apartment. He opened the door to Leonard and the two of them stepped out to sit on the staircase outside the door to talk. Penny stuck her head out of her bedroom, noticed them going out to of the apartment and sneaked out to eavesdrop through the door.

"Sir…" Leonard sat next to Penny's father. "I don't think you're giving Penny enough credit. I mean, she actually quite resourceful."

"It takes a lot more than that to get by…" James pointed out.

"I think you ought to give her another chance." Leonard made his appeal. "I mean… how would you have liked it if your father dragged you home while you were trying to be a cop."

"You can't play that card, son…" James spoke. "My father encouraged me to go in the Marines so he wouldn't have to take care of me after eighteen. If anything, I'm much more lenient with my kids than my father was to me."

"Mr. Parker, I'm in love with your daughter…" Leonard said it. "I don't want her to go."

Penny heard him through the door and held her heart with a big grin spreading across her face.

"And don't think you're being very fair to her." Leonard continued. "I can't really stop you from dragging her home, but… if you do… she's going to hate you for the rest of your life. Do you really want to risk that?"

"Leonard…" That was a low blow for the tired father. "I've got three daughters and one son… and Penny's brother, Mitchell, is a dumbass…."

On the other side of the door, Penny agreed with that.

"Penny is my youngest…" James continued. "And when she was born, I was so hoping for a boy, but instead, the nurse gave me this tiny little blonde little baby girl who fit right in my hand right there." He held out his right hand and traced a circle in his palm with his left finger. "She was the only one I got to hold first before my wife, and I tell you… when those big blue eyes looked up to me, my heart melted. Right there, I knew she was daddy's little girl, and I knew I would do anything for her."

Still listening, Penny realized she was fighting a hopeless cause.

"Penny needs to come home where I can take care of her." James finished.

"So…" Leonard's mind was working. "This is more to make you happy than to make Penny happy."

"That's a low blow, son."

"Sir, please…" Leonard tried from the heart. "If Penny is going to have a chance to survive, you have to let her make her own mistakes. Not only that, but I'll be here. I can be here to take care of her too."

"Leonard," James cleared his throat and looked around a bit after rubbing his chin. "I've only known you and your friends a little while, but I don't think you guys are mature enough to be running around loose. Heck, I don't think Sheldon should be allowed in society at all!!"

"You sure figured him out fast." Leonard observed. "But, Penny… you think she's more rational… Right?"

"Of course…"

"Then let her prove it." Leonard appealed. In the apartment, Penny listened intently. Sitting on the steps to the fourth floor, James Michael Parker struggled with his love for his daughter and what was best for her. The girl crossed her fingers. Leonard waited for an answer.

"Leonard…" A father felt his heart breaking. "Oh for the love of God… I really don't want to hear her complaining back to Nebraska… I'll let her stay!"

Penny sudden screamed an inaudible cheer and started celebrating without a single sound by dancing and strutting around happily.

"But you have to promise to look after her."

"Yes, sir…"

"And keep Sheldon away from her because she'll kill him." James stood.

"Right, sir…" Leonard rose to his feet.

"And another thing, Leonard…" James placed a large hand on Leonard's right shoulder. "If you get her pregnant, I know guys who can guarantee you'll never be seen or heard of ever again. Right, Penny?"

"Yes, daddy!" Her voice came through the door.

"Very understood, sir!!!" Bewildered and stunned by that empty threat, Leonard choked on his breath as James swayed him around roughly like a hesitant son-in-law.

"Let's get some pie…" James placed his arm around Leonard to lead him into Penny's apartment. Behind him, the door to the boy's apartment opened up.

"What kind of pie is it?" Sheldon, Raj and Howard stood there.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Daddy was gone, and Penny could return to her freedom. Her apartment was starting to look like a mess again, she was in skimpy clothes consisting of red shorts and a t-shirt with the Superman emblem on it and she was happily devouring a bowl of ice cream as her lunch. After starting her laundry downstairs, she returned to her third floor apartment to open the package her father had brought from home. Upon cutting the tape with the end of her scissors, she looked up to the sound of a noise at her door. Leonard was poking his head inside to see her.

"Hey, welcome home…" He congratulated her spiritual victory.

"Hey, Leonard…" Penny started pulling her box open as he tried to take a peek. He stood staring at her t-shirt.

"Is that one of Sheldon's…"

"Yeah…" Penny confessed. "It got mixed in with my stuff a while back, and this being laundry day, it was the only I could find to pull on."

"Oh…" Leonard pretended to look away, entering as he closed the door behind him.. "Somehow, it looks better on you…" He noticed her box. "What you have here?"

"Daddy brought this from home…" Penny looked up beaming.

"All the way from Nebraska, huh…" He noticed as Penny reacted with fond emotions to a folded red blanket on top of the items in the box. Awing as if she was looking upon a baby, she pulled it out and unfurled it with love.

"It's blankie!!! My old security blanket!" She felt nostalgic. "I used to drag this around everywhere when I was little…"

"I bet you was a cute little thing…"

"Yeah…" Penny felt like a little girl again to hold it. "Did you have a security blanket when you were growing up?"

"Uh, well…" Leonard felt suddenly awkward as old neurosis came flooding back to haunt him. "Yeah, I had this Star Wars beach towel… but this guy at camp used it to light a bonfire." Penny reacted with her heart going out to him. Leonard just looked deeper into the box.

"I'm sorry, Leonard…"

"He was a mean piece of work."

"Uh-huh…" Penny looked into her treasure trove from home, pulling out her high school scrapbooks, souvenirs and something she barely recognized. "My baton…." It was left over from her days as a majorette in high school, but it had gotten dinged and bent in transit. "Why would my mom send that?" She looked deeper. "What else got damaged?" She draped her old blanket over her shoulder and looked deeper. "Oh, no!!!"

"What? What is it?"

"This used to be a glass doggie…" Penny pulled out two halves of what used to be a bulldog stature sculpted from green glass. "Daddy got it for me when I graduated high school… it was on my dresser at home… Look, the ears broke off and everything."

"What a shame… Looks like your dad might have slammed it into the car a bit hard." Leonard held the two halves together. "You know, I think I got some epoxy to put it back together."

"Could you, Leonard?"

"Sure…" He looked in the box. "Are all the pieces here?"

"I think so…" Penny started looking deeper past her stuffed dolphin and old yearbooks. Leonard pulled her old teddy bear out of the way, but someone knocked at the door of the apartment and Penny had to turn away to answer it. She turned round and opened the door. It was Howard and Raj.

"Hello, Penny…" Howard spoke for the two of them. "I just wanted to apologize for…." He stopped and realized she was wearing a Superman t-shirt with red shorts and an odd red cape-like fabric hanging over her right shoulder. She looked like she had just come out an issue of Justice League of America. He and Raj were looking at Penny holding that bent metal rod and started wondering if they had their proof of Penny being that girl in Detroit. Raj meanwhile started tapping Howard at the shoulder and pointed to Leonard behind Penny holding that odd green object that looked like an extraterrestrial rock.

"My God, Leonard!!!" Howard's voice rose out of annoyed shock. "Are so jealous that you had to remove her powers with Kryptonite?"

END


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